Getting you back

On the wings of the night, some things doesn't just feel so right. Life sounds so sick at times, its not like I haven't been trying to be well, its like everytime I try, I fail. Fixing matters of life isn't a matter of joke, and I failed while fixing everything right.

I don't even know if anyone reads it, but yes, I wish you did. Nothing makes me feel bad, except for the fact that I was this close of getting you. Regretting the same thing again and again does matter, because that one thing have made me go through various unwanted steps of my life. I always wanted it to be very simple and normal. I wished to have a girlfriend who would understand me upside down. I hate to have fights, I don't feel like its exactly the right way of telling people how you feel about that person. Sometimes, I write just because I have no one to tell all these, so writing helps. OH GOD!! What am I saying!!! I feel so lost. I am making mistakes over and over again, and I am making mistakes that is gonna hurt people real bad.

Is there really something called fate? Does luck means anything at all? If it does, then where is my fate? I know I am just 19, I am too young to be told about a settled love life, but why is that a problem anyway? Fine, I loved this one girl and making out with others isn't helping, why the hell is this like I fall in love and then realize it was certainly not love? If a serendipity had to happen in my life, why is there not a clue? Why are the signs missing? Well, I did meet my girl, and every time I do that, I take myself back in time and slip again. All I need is one wish, one wish to go back in time and tell her, that I love her, I love her like no one can ever do. I love her because she is pretty, I love her because everytime I see her, I feel her to be mine. I feel I am with the right person at the right time.

Every 'spicy chilli baby corn' day was special for me. And I miss them alot. I miss meeting you, I miss watching movies with you, I miss dancing with you, I miss your smile, I miss you clicking my pictures, I miss texting you all day all night. Our worlds have changed upside down, you are no more who you used to be, I am not who I used to be. But I still love that same girl, I will probably love her forever. I am scared, I know I  am, no matter what I tell people. I know who I am in deeply love with, no matter what. I may sound too confused, but this is the only thing I can shout with all my power to the world with full confidence, that I love you.

The only person who can make me ever cry, is you. I decided not to ever love anyone after I broke up. But then this girl came in, she loves me, a lot, like anything. I said yes, not right away, I thought for a while, I thought for a lifetime. Now I am again back in that same old condition, situation with options. Damn I hate it. All I want right now, is you to be my best friend. I want you back in my life, I wanna plan our movies again, I wanna book the royal seats first for us. I want you to buy wrong movie tickets, I want you to come with open hair with that 'I just woke up for you' look. I want you to tell me to look at the movie screen everytime I look at you. I MISS YOU GIRL, GET BACK TO ME!!!